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Spotter’s Guide to Junior Eurovision 2015… For Adults Written by on November 21, 2015

ESC Insight readers, listen up! We know many of you, far too many of you, find this Junior Eurovision thing a challenge. With our Spotter’s Guide our aim is to make all Eurovision fans appreciate the 150 minutes of entertainment that Bulgarian broadcaster BNT has prepared. If you enjoyed watching the Eurovision Song Contest this year from Vienna there is no reason you won’t enjoy this production. Together Ben Robertson and Alison Wren show you the unmissable highlights from the show.

Now You See Them, Now You Don’t

There are a few acts with fireworks this evening, but far more common is the use of atmospheric dry ice. The problem is some of these kids are tiny and repeatedly in rehearsals the kids are getting lost Nina Sublatti style in the fog. Knock yourselves out with this inevitable game of hide and seek which might start as early as song one with minuscule Lena Stamenkovic from Serbia.

There is a girl in this photograph as well you know. (Photo: Ben Robertson)

There is a girl in this photograph as well you know. (Photo: Ben Robertson)

Eaten Alive

Only one country would even dare to haul a huge lotus flower/Venus fly trap to engulf their artist. You’ll never guess which one…

If the flower doesn't eat her, the shark will (Photo: Ben Robertson)

If the flower doesn’t eat her, the shark will (Photo: Ben Robertson)

I Am The Makemake

It’s really good when artists take inspiration from their Eurovision idols. It’s less exciting when that inspiration comes from a nil points result such as The Makemakes had in Vienna but hey, that’s what Shalisa from the Netherlands has done. Let’s do the checklist.

Distracting hat – check

Frizzy hair over the shoulders – check

A piano with fire – check

All she’s missing is the beard. That’ll save her from the zero.

The Dutch song is basically this, just on a Junior scale (Photo: Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Shalisa performing ‘Million Lights‘ (Photo: Thomas Hanses/EBU)

The Barbara Dex Award

Junior doesn’t do Barbara Dex, but oh boy if it did I’d call it a two-horse race.

…but I won’t spoil your fun in revealing my shortlist, you won’t miss it.

Interval Act Goodies

Between song 6/7 and 12/13 not only do we have advert breaks, but they are throwing us mini-interval acts as well. The latter is a crowd-pleasing set from Bulgaria’s best beatboxers but keep an eye out on the first one which features some bonkers light up costumes. This is pushed to the nines with light-up robot man on stilts with fireworks on his shoulders.

Just do everybody a favour and don’t tell the BBC.

Eurovision 2025? (Photo: Elena Volotova/Vladimir Dudakliev, EBU)

Eurovision 2025? (Photo: Elena Volotova and Vladimir Dudakliev/EBU)

Not Molly or Holly, We Have Poli

Our hostess Poli Genova might be turning to face a different camera every ten seconds but is happily dancing around performing as her larger than life character. Watch out for her numerous dress changes which culminates in one of the most dramatic sequences that we have seen in interval act madness that seems oh-so-Melfest inspired. This is more outrageous than Stefan Raab, more bizarre than the Wombles and more memorable than Riverdance and the Norwegian flashmob combined.

Where’s My Dress?

 

Time to re-#discover Poli Genova (Photo: Sharleen Wright)

Time to re-#discover Poli Genova (Photo: Sharleen Wright)

Speaking Of The Flashmob

I think BNT might remember the 2010 Contest just a little too fondly.

The Boy Is Now A Man

We came into Junior Eurovision worrying if the long wait between the Belarussian National Final in June and now would have made it tough for Belarus’ Ruslan Aslanov to hold his voice together before puberty set in. He seems fine.

However last year’s winner Vincenzo Cantiello is very much now a man. His voice is down from the alto ranges he had in Malta to what will be a smooth baritone. He’s growing up fast and if Il Volo need a new member in a couple of years time I know where I would look.

Vincenzo Cantiello's next performance to RAI will be a rendition of 'Why Me'

Time to pass over the Junior Eurovision crown elsewhere

Going Down To The Wire

Junior Eurovision competitions are far closer than the adult competition and we would realistically expect the winner to only become clear as the last or second last country comes in to vote. Armenia follows Belarus in the middle of the show providing a huge battle for the title but Malta’s Destiny looks finally the charismatic diva she needs to be to suddenly lift herself into contention.

The voting is in running order, so we’ll be ending on the votes of Albania and Montenegro. Without an obvious vote to either of the above three nations expect a nail-biting finish.

Ruslan Aslanov for Belarus could be our winner (Photo: Ben Robertson)

Ruslan Aslanov for Belarus could be our winner (Photo: Ben Robertson)

Going Big In The Hall

Bulgaria’s host entry is going to get a huge roar from the capacity crowd who probably realise this will be the biggest Eurovision event for a very long time to reach their capital. Last year’s second place act Krisia is wheeled onto at every opportunity and undoubtedly the 11 year old girl is a pint-sided superstar.

Let’s not forget the Bulgarian act this year, with ‘Colour Of Hope‘ wielding the best attempt at kitchen sink throwing we’ve seen at Junior Eurovision for a while. Gabriela starts it off all lovely but then we pan away to breathtaking rhythmic gymnasts before her duet partner Ivan strides in and steals the limelight from stage right.

And then at the end the two singers crescendo into the middle of a huge fountain of fireworks, rainbow coloured, face-covering fireworks. That’s one way to get a crowd reaction.

Ivan and Gabriela for Bulgaria (Photo: Elena Volotova and Vladimir Dudakliev/EBU)

Ivan and Gabriela for Bulgaria (Photo: Elena Volotova and Vladimir Dudakliev/EBU)

Ireland’s Debutant

Bringing us back to what is only the second Irish Eurovision entry of all time to use the Irish language, Aimee Banks provides a faultless vocal with impeccable clarity. I can’t help but think though that the emerald green dress, hairstyle and podium though is unmistakably familiar…

As previously seen on Melodifestivalen...

As previously seen on Melodifestivalen…

When Georgia’s Virus Infects You

This happens.

Glen Bartlett's Dancing GIF

It’s infectious…

Have A Blast Tonight

We keep repeating it, but that’s because it’s too true. Junior Eurovision is the purest and happiest format that Eurovision has ever witnessed. Now it’s time to sit back, relax and just watch the talent in-front of us entertain. May the best song win.

Remember that you can tune in to the entire ESC Insight team providing live radio commentary for Junior Eurovision this year by tuning into one of the plethora of stations taking our stream. The show starts at 19:15 CET/18:15 GMT.

About The Author: Ben Robertson

Ben Robertson has attended 23 National Finals in the world of Eurovision. With that experience behind him he writes for ESC Insight with his analysis and opinions about anything and everything Eurovision Song Contest that is worth telling.

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