As everyone descends deeper into the Eurovision bubble, what do those outside of the bubble think? What happens when you ask someone who has little to no idea what the Eurovision Song Contest is truly about to listen to ten of the highly rated tracks from the 2015 Contest (okay nine highly rated and the United Kingdom) and ask them to pick a winner?
That’s exactly what I did after this year’s South by Southwest Interactive festival. To be fair, I’ve known Chris Heuer for many years; he knows his music, and as part of the Silicon alley start-up culture, making snap judgements on someone’s potential is second nature.
While many of us live with these songs for months, the majority of viewers at home get one listen (maybe two if they follow the semi finals) and that’s it. First impressions from the public outside the bubble are vital. With that said, on with the ten!
Tonight Again, by Guy Sebastian (Australia)
Ewan: How could I not select the debut entry from Down Under. It’s one of the few ‘not-slow’ songs on offer this year, and it’s just fun!
Chris: This is an upbeat, solid, high energy song, great for a competitive entry. It has some really poppy qualities and great lyrics to match the very strong vocals and production value. Chorus is addictive with a call to empowerment, about living in the moment. This always sells when packaged correctly. This could be a winner, but I don’t think it would break the top 3 in the US market. Catchy song, great hook and lyrics. It’s not perfect, though; it is over sung a bit, and in spots it is over-produced.
Grande Amore, by Il Volo (Italy)
Ewan: Still my personal favourite of the year, and continuing to divide fan opinion, an outside opinion might help my thoughts on RAI’s chances.
Chris: It’s a ballad. It’s slow and sad, but I’m not really able to appreciate the vocals given the mixing of the music levels [in the studio version]. It’s a reasonable performance but seems castrated a bit for some reason. Who doesn’t love a great Italian love song? The greatest love? Amazing.
Nothing amazing here, sounds like every other Italian ballad. I love Italy, and this feels like something I would want to hear if I was sipping wine at a big club, or maybe at a live music club, but the powerful bits are kind of overdone again, so I wouldn’t pick it as a winner. Depending on the quality of the other entries, it could perhaps break the top ten for me.
One Thing I Should Have Done, by John Karayiannis (Cyprus)
Ewan: …because if anyone is going to do a Tom Dice it’s John Karayiannis.
Chris: John has a good voice, and there’s a nice rhythm on the guitar. Again, it’s another sad song. Ugh. I suppose he looks beautiful and is playing that up [Chris is listening to the MP3s on a Virgin America flight from Austin to San Francisco]. Why is there an over use of vocal effects? Its unnecessary to do the echo on the chorus in this one, other than to show the producers know how to use the digital tools. The acapella used for emotional effect is not robust enough to me for some reason. It’s the wrong spot in the song I think.
I can’t fathom any potential multiverse where this would crack the U.S. top 100 charts. This would be an obscure sort of song you might hear in a pub one night and not even stop talking to your mates. I imagine the din of hearing it live in a noisy pub that might perhaps make it a bit more bearable and less sappy, with a few of the women staring lovingly at him, imagining they are the inspiration for the song…
Goodbye To Yesterday, by Elina Born and Stig Rästa (Estonia)
Ewan: It was briefly the favourite for the Contest when only the fans could talk about it, it stormed to 79% of the home vote at Eesti Laul, but has it peaked too soon.
Chris: The vocals were breathy at times, and in spots Elina’s voice felt like fingernails on a chalkboard. Naturally, it’s covered up by the wrong mix of vocals and music – the music is way too overpowering. There are some beautiful high points from her in here though, so she is clearly up to the job, but the arrangement is all off on this – her voice doesn’t seem to want to match the musical tones.
The song is once again a ballad with a bit of an American cowboy theme – kind of reminds me of mixing hard apple cider and chocolate ice cream… you think it might be good, but then you realise it couldn’t be any good no matter what you do, and then you do it anyway. Yep, you were right the first time, best throw it out. Chances? No. Just, no.
Aina mun pitää, by Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (Finland)
Ewan: It should be noted here that Chris knew absolutely nothing of PKN’s back story, which makes the comments on staging even more delightful… it sounds more like a Hacksaw gig than Eurovision.
Chris: Finally some Nordic death metal [Close enough – Ewan], this is just what the competition needs to be reminded about the diverse musical nature of the competition. It’s also a good warning on how much we might be assaulted if we don’t honour the Norse gods with some good music that prepares us to step into the ring to fight to our death.
Thankfully it was short, so that gives it a leg up on many, but more than anything, it’s a boot to the face and a sword to my ears. I like death metal just as much as the next 45 year old Californian white guy, but this was just above being a bad entry. So not all that bad, but not good either. This wouldn’t ever make the mainstream radio over here in the U.S.
In fact, I don’t think it wouldn’t even get on stage at The X-Factor so they could make fun whatever presumably hilarious but terrifying outfits they might be wearing. Only hearing it, not watching the video, I can only imagine they might be singing with horse heads on, covered in fake blood and thrashing their heads so hard that the front 3 rows are covered in it and leaving the show upset that they ever paid so much money to sit up front.
Still In Love With You, by Electro Velvet (United Kingdom)
Ewan: That special relationship between the US and the UK kicks in, and of course the idea that fans are over-thinking the UK entry is not far from my mind.
Chris: You can always count on the Brits for a sense of humour in their musical arrangement and mashup of styles, but the lyrics are overly whimsical. The scatting is totally unnecessary and distracts from the song itself, though I am sure it seemed like the one addition that would make the song “absolutely fabulous.”
A good hook and song overall, but it would be more at home in a version of the movie ‘Back to the Future’ when Marty and his girlfriend end up in the 1920’s and are forced to play at an underground jazz club. It’s truly catchy though and has a real shot, (should I say unfortunately).
The Way You Are, by Anti Social Media (Denmark)
Ewan: With every ballad, Denmark’s entry looked ever more promising. Now we have our forty, there’s a chance DR might have to prepare Copenhagen for another invasion.
Chris: Finally a true pop song that has the right arrangement of vocals with upbeat music, backup singers, a decent set of lyrics, a good hook, hopeful and a proper use of a clap track for the percussion element.
It definitely would hit the charts in the U.S., not to the top, but it would be a contender for a few weeks and then fizzle out, lasting maybe 4 weeks in the top 10. Maybe. As for Eurovision? This one could actually win with it’s solid vocals and that sweet hint of sugar.
This Time, by Monica Linkytė And Vaidas Baumila (Lithuania)
Ewan: Without the official studio version when we started this exercise, Chris had the semi-final performance of ‘This Time’, which was the first live performance of the duet.
Chris: With a Lithuanian grandfather, I was really hoping for it to be good so my now deceased grandfather wouldn’t be too mad at me. Thankfully, he wasn’t much into music and never heard of Eurovision. The song has a strong guitar part, but is over-sung from the start. Her voice is awesome. His is mediocre, but the guitar arrangement is keeping it in play until the chorus and the enjoyable mashup of voices in which they keep interchanging who is taking the lead. The clap track is ok, especially given the annoying pacing throughout the song. Yep, it goes round and round and round and round…
Maybe instead of just enjoying it, I’m guilty of waiting for it to be over. It is an upbeat song and would chart in the Top 100. It has a chance to be in the running, but I would hope it wouldn’t win as I wouldn’t want to listen to it for a full year.
A Monster Like Me, by Mørland & Debrah Scarlett (Norway)
Ewan: Fans love it, it’s rich and layered, but is it too complex for a public who get just one listen?
Chris: Solid arrangement for (yet another) ballad compared to the others. It’s a nice life lesson song…of course it’s cool to be a self-loathing monster. Again, a duo singing a song of love, loss and loathing. The high notes though, oh my, the high notes are piercing my ear-drums for no reason other than to show off the vocal fjords that can be scaled.
I just don’t like this song, I don’t think it would never catch on here in the U.S. No one thinks of themselves as a monster, especially not the ones who truly are. They are sociopaths. So I guess this could be good for that group, maybe a sociopath on their deathbed who woke up and realised they should change before meeting St. Peter at the gates. Who would ever put this song into an international competition?
Heroes, by Mans Zelmerlöw (Sweden)
Ewan: With no background of Melodifestivalen (or the innovative staging) does he song stand up on its own?
Chris: A true pop song (yaay) with a rock vocalist, but again the wrong mix of microphone vs music again. As you may note this is a pet peeve of mine, while the harmonies in the background vocals needs to be solid, the harmony of voice to music must always be perfect. The song has a message that will resonate with many, facing challenges, claiming it’s status with a powerful musical arrangement. Immediately I thought this would likely be the winner. When we hit the chorus and the music pumps up a bit, the crescendo of energy was perfectly timed to raise up the excitement in me and the aspirational feeling that the song is meant to invoke.
His vocals are solid throughout, without a single glitch. My guess is a Top Ten hit for some time if it hit the US and it might even top the charts.
The Final Scores
Chris: Overall, you can see my favourites from the very direct comments above. But I do have to give special recognition to Sweden – which is good since my friends in Stockholm might actually invite me back to stay with them, which won’t be happening with my friends in Finland and Estonia. But they were just terrible entries and I suspect they know it. If they can look deep within their souls, past the national flag that is wrapped around their heart and clouding their musical judgment, they know I am right.
If I were basing it just on these “top ten” songs Ewan shared with me, and my limited understanding of the types of songs that might win, and then based on what I think would work well in the U.S., I think the winners would be…
US Market
1: Sweden, 2: Denmark, 3: Lithuania.Eurovision Results
1: Australia, 2: Sweden, 3: Denmark.
What do you think?
I guess it has to be bland pop or rap or something else equally horrid to be a hit in U.S then? Just stick to your own market.